3.27.2019

There is so much on my heart right now: our journey, how miraculous these people are, my desire to point you to hope… We have been drowning for about five years now. Around 2014 we began to see that there was something foundationally wrong in our family, something vital was missing in our relationship with our adopted kids. As much as we loved them, and as much as we tried different parenting techniques, counseling, therapies, medications, as much as we read about how to help them and prayed over them, we were broken. We tried it all, and nothing worked. In the midst of the struggle to understand, God called us to adopt again, and somehow things became even more stressful, even more constricted, even more wrong. We were in a horrible, dark place. I carried so much guilt around for years, thinking that my kids’ brokenness and inability to give and receive love was somehow my fault. It was a heavy weight to carry. Thank the Lord that He freed me of that weight as I began to learn about how trauma and attachment issues can impair a person’s ability to love and bond for life. The neglect and lack of stability and trauma that they suffered before coming into our family (yes, even as infants!) had wired their brains so that they were not able to relate to others normally, they had an underlying sense of worthlessness, and they could not give and receive love. They had Reactive Attachment Disorder, and it was tearing us apart. Keith and I worried over their futures and their hearts, and dragged ourselves through each day. Then a few months ago, a friend shared a therapy program that she had successfully used to help her adoptive children with RAD. She claimed that it had actually CURED them. In everything I had read, I had never come across a cure for RAD. It was managed, not cured. But we were desperate and willing to try anything. So for the last twelve weeks, we plunged into this therapy. It is not easy or quick, and it most definitely is not for the faint of heart. But for us, deciding that we were willing to sacrifice just about anything - possessions, sanity, reputation - to heal our children, has changed everything. (Cont'd in comments)