Truth is...

It's been just over a month now since we listed our house, school has started back, and the showings have slowed down.  A month of sweeping up and wiping down every little smudge, crumb, and wrinkle is driving me up a wall.  Doing the aforementioned while simultaneously keeping an eye on my two active (read : messy) toddlers is making me crazy.  And doing all that while also trying to live my crazy, full life - all while keeping a good attitude - has proved impossible.
Truth is, I've been a bit of a whiner lately.  I don't do well in situations that are out of my control.  I've tried reasoning with (and whining to) God, explaining to Him that we're holding up our end of the bargain by listing our house.  So is He planning on coming through with a buyer and a new (much cheaper, yet still cute) house and a clearly-defined ministry plan, or what?

Well, turns out that God doesn't work that way.  He won't be bossed around, and thankfully, doesn't care all that much what we think is best.  It doesn't matter how clean the house is, or how well it's marketed, or even how much it's listed for.  When God is ready for it to sell, and when He's ready for us to move on and start this new chapter in our lives, He'll let us know.  Right now, He's calling us to be patient and content, to rejoice, and to trust in Him.

It's not easy, this patience and contentment thing.  It's hard work.  Harder even than keeping a huge house clean with two almost two-year-olds.  But maybe that's exactly why He has us here.  To learn.  Or maybe it's not about us at all.  Maybe He's using our situation to work in someone else's life.  I really have no idea what He's up to, and I'm (slowly & painfully) learning to be OK with that.

What I do know is of far more comfort and is far more encouraging : So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  -  Isaiah 41:10

Slowly He's changing me, chipping away at my sin.  It's so easy to focus on what I have (or don't have) here and now, but what I have in Him is so much more important.

One thing I ask of the LORD, 

this is what I seek: 
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD 
all the days of my life
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD 
and to seek him in his temple. 
For in the day of trouble 
he will keep me safe in his dwelling; 
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle 
and set me high upon a rock. 

Truth is, that is far from the cry of my here-and-now-focused-heart on a daily basis.  But in His steadfast mercy, He's still at work on my heart, molding me more into His image and teaching me to cling to the imperishable.  And for that I am so thankful.
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P.S. After our big We're Moving post, several of you pointed me in the direction of Flower Patch Farmgirl.  I've been (non-creepishly) stalking her for weeks now, reading through her old posts about their move.  I just came to this one tonight, right after finishing up the above post.  My thoughts exactly.  :)